


Absurd Standards of Daily Showers

by Cajuzinhoinho



Series: Tumblr Fics [3]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, M/M, but tbh i dont remember. it works anyway. but just in case, i thiiiink this was supposed to be a human au, luci doenst know where to hide, martin fucking it up in front of iracema, some family sillyness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:53:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28465614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cajuzinhoinho/pseuds/Cajuzinhoinho
Summary: Tumblr Writing Challenge - Prompt: At the In-Laws-“I thought we’d never meet. He talks about you, sometimes.”Martin wasn’t sure what that was supposed to mean. Still, it was Luciano’s mom, and he had to cause a good impression, even if she couldn’t be bothered doing the same, so he smiled.
Relationships: Argentina/Brazil (Hetalia)
Series: Tumblr Fics [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2084991
Kudos: 7





	Absurd Standards of Daily Showers

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally written and posted on tumblr on July, 2020.  
> I decided to post all my tumblr fics from 2020 in Ao3 before the year ends. Maybe it will bring me good luck in 2021, who knows. I sure could use some.

“You’re not nervous, are you?” Luciano teased with a friendly punch on Martin’s shoulder, then returned his hand to the steering wheel of his black pickup truck. “That’s not like you.” 

“I’m not.” Martin grinned, with his eyes on the unpaved road. Luciano had been driving for a while since the last signs of city life had disappeared behind them, and now all that was left as a rocky path surrounded by trees and nothing else. “I’ve met your dad. It can’t be worse than that.” 

Luciano chuckled, and his lack of a reply brought Martin no comfort. He would never miss an opportunity to say something bad about his father like that. 

Long minutes went by before Martin saw the first house in kilometers, at the top of a small hill, to which they were heading. Luciano parked the car next to the wood gates as there seemed to be no garage and they got out to meet the small lady standing by the front door. 

Luciano smiled and his mother, greeting her in a language Martin couldn’t understand, but he did catch his own name being spoken, followed by Luciano’s hand on his shoulder.

Martin had seen pictures of Iracema before, but this was the first time he’d ever been near her in person. She was shorter than he expected, making even Luciano look tall next to her. It was weird, to say the least, to see someone who at the same time looked so much like him and nothing at all. They had the same dark brown in their hair, but where Luciano had it in loose soft curls, hers was completely straight. He definitely got her round black eyes, but her small stern stare resembled in nothing Luciano’s big puppy look. It was… puzzling, especially when those small eyes were scanning him head to toe.

She mumbled something in their language, and then spoke in perfect Portuguese:

“I thought we’d never meet. He talks about you, sometimes.” 

Martin wasn’t sure what that was supposed to mean. Still, it was Luciano’s mom, and he had to cause a good impression, even if she couldn’t be bothered doing the same, so he smiled. 

She again made a comment Martin couldn’t understand and turned around to enter her house. 

“What did she said?” Martin whispered to Luciano.

“She said ‘At least it’s not the other one’ Dani. She and his mom have history.”

“History?” 

He shrugged.

“She never tells me.” 

“It’s not a kid’s business.” She interrupted her voice firm and loud as to assert she had been hearing all that was said. “And I have nothing against her boy, life’s been cruel enough to him just by giving him that mother.” Then, to Luciano, more unintelligible words, and before Martin could ask for a translation, she turned to him. “My son has yet to learn that if I speak Tupi to him in front of people, it is wiser of him not to translate it.”

Martin swallowed and forced a smile. His first instinct was to pick a fight with the old lady, but he,as her son’s boyfriend, was the weak link in the situation. 

His mood improved a little when he smelled the scent of a homemade meal being prepared in a wood burner. Iracema’s house was quite big and cozy, and the kitchen was especially inviting. All the windows were open, bathing the room in green coming from the forest and in the sound of hundreds of different birds. 

Martin suddenly remembered the gift he brought her, as a little bribe in order to make her like him. He took from his backpack a bottle of his best wine and offered, hoping it would be enough to make up for that unpleasant start. 

“I’m sure you will enjoy it.”

She took the bottle, examined it for a moment, and left it over the table. 

“Thank you.” She didn’t smile. “You can leave your things in Luciano’s room. Lunch will still take a while to be ready.” 

“I’ll take that.” Luciano offered referring to Martin’s backpack, then gave him a significant look, pointing to his mom with his eyebrows before disappearing in the hall with it.

Silence took over, as Iracema concentrated in preparing their food. Her lips twisted unpleasantly, like she was about to say something but didn’t, until finally she asked:

“Lu told me you’re from Argentina.” She stated, leaving to Martin to find a way to turn that into a conversation. 

“Yes…”

“I’ve never been there. Seems too cold.”

Martin chuckled, because he had heard Luciano complain about the weather in his country a little too much.

“It’s not that cold, for the most part. It’s nice. Very European.” 

He realized, a second too late, that maybe that was the wrong thing to say. She stared at him with narrow eyes. 

“So you don’t shower?” 

Martin blinked in shock.

“What?”

“I asked,” she repeated, but slower. “if you don’t shower.”

“I do shower! Every day!” 

She scoffed at that.

“Luciano is spending too much time with Europeans, and now this. These days he told me two daily showers were enough, and I told him I would not tolerate this kind of filth in my house.” 

“Mom!” Luciano cried from the hall and walked back to the kitchen. 

“You know the rules, boy. I can’t allow this neglecting to good hygiene. Your little friends might tell you it’s cool, but it’s not. Soon you’ll be just like your father, that stinky excuse of a man who can’t even remember the last time he washed his own ass.”

Martin could stop himself from laughing loudly. Luciano looked ready to bury his own head in the ground. Iracema, seeing her son’s reaction, started laughing too, even if more discreetly. 

“Don’t worry, I can guarantee you I’m not like that.” Martin said once his laughter receded. He was of course lying, by her absurd standards of god knows how many daily showers, but Luciano had never complained of him stinking, so that should count for something. 

“You better not be.” She warned, but embarrassing Luciano did seem to warm her up a bit, and there was almost a hint of a smile on her face. 

“And I promise I won’t let him become like his dad. Especially since Afonso doesn’t like me very much. It’s mutual.” 

“Well, that’s a good sign.” She nodded and said something to Luciano in Tupi. It didn’t sound like an insult, so Martin took it as a victory. “Now you two go wash your hands and come help me in the kitchen. Luci told me you’re a good cook.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Happy new year! Feel free to leave a comment, i certainly appreciate them~


End file.
